Distinction: Values versus Core Values. Values can be adopted, integrated, and changed throughout your life. Core values are a natural extension of who you are and who you have been your entire life. 

In a recent conversation with a client, I made the statement that integrity is not a core value of mine. That statement, said out loud, stung. Do I really not value integrity? Of course I do, and I work at living with integrity and I recognize and value when I see others living with it as well. But is it a core value? Something completely natural and easy for me? 

It’s easy to simply list out a set of values that you feel you need to want or have in your life. The question to ask yourself is, am I going deep enough and do I really know what values are core to the activities I am drawn to, the preferences I naturally have, or the behaviors I tend to exhibit or notice in others? 

Tap into the optimal version of you. Spend some time reframing what you tell yourself you value. Is it a “should” or is it a “you” value?