“Keep in mind that it isn’t the one who has it in for you and takes a swipe that harms you, but rather the harm comes from your own belief about the abuse. So when someone arouses your anger, know that it’s really your own opinion fueling it. Instead, make it your first response not to be carried away by such impressions, for with time and distance self-mastery is more easily achieved.” ~ Epictetus

Do you know what I love about the experience of moving forward every day? Being open to hearing truths that speak directly into my heart. Truths I need to hear, wrestle with, and honor in my pursuit of self-awareness, self-control, and self-acceptance. This section from the Enchiridion of Epictetus (The Handbook of Epictetus), a collection of Stoic ethical advice from the Greek philosopher, hit me right between the eyes this morning. It created an “aha!” moment and you can’t un-ha an aha!  

Your perspective matters in all things. It is the only thing you have 100% control over. The way in which you frame your life, who you are, how you’ve been wronged, it matters. Because you either limit or free yourself simply by the way you perceive things. By how you put words and emotions to the situations you face, the people you encounter, the criticism you feel, and yes, the direction in which you will go. 

You always have a choice to change the way you’re viewing things and/or responding to them. Epictetus councils you need to create time and space to learn self-mastery. Learning to wait through your immediate reactions allows you to go deeper in fully understanding why you react that way in the first place. But to go deeper requires you to respond to these events, not just hold your tongue, overreact, or eventually ignore them. 

Why not try a new habit of mind this week. Whenever you feel yourself reacting to something, take a moment to write it down. What is going on? How do you feel? What are you reacting to? Give yourself a few minutes then revisit what you wrote. Any aha’s come at you?