Selfishness v. Self-fullness

“Self-fullness means filling up your soul and your self from the inside. It’s a good term to use if you are afraid of selfishness.”  – Thomas J. Leonard

We all have a “me” problem. We all have a natural inclination to be self-centered. Makes sense when you strip down the essence of you to its barest form, you are you. You are not someone else. You see the world through your eyes. You feel the world through your body. Your brain is inside your head. Yet somehow when you hear the word “selfish” you might recoil a bit.

Let’s give you a new word to describe a very important principle. Knowing who you are, what you want, your preferences, your values, your dreams is not being selfish, rather it is being SELF-FULL. It’s a starting position that gives you the confidence and the courage to tell the world who you are and what you want. 

Not in a self-serving-at-the-cost-of-all-others kinda way, but in a genuinely authentic self-serving way that ultimately allows you to be more generous and supportive of others because it feels good to do so. And because you have the personal reserves from which to give it to others freely; without any cost to you.

Being self-full is self-awareness on steroids. When you are self-full you are guided by the light inside of you with clear boundaries that allow you to be super generous without allowing anyone to take too much*. It gives you the confidence to know what you want and to say it out loud increasing the likelihood of getting it. People who are self-full are attractive because we all want that in our own lives. 

To paraphrase Mark Twain, the one thing you are working toward is a secure peace of mind and spiritual comfort for yourself. This starts with becoming incredibly self-full.

*adapted from The Portable Coach